I am never anywhere
Anywhere I go
When I’m home, I’m never there
Long enough to know
   — boygenius, Ketchum ID


you are forty-one when you take a trip with your mom
to the place she grew up
so different than yours
you are reminded
that just being
is enough
ready
open
here

you were six years old when you had your first watch
checking obsessively the passing of time
from any given moment to the next
elasticity
waiting        one minute  =    one hour
fun             one hour     =     one minute

the theatre reminds you of this

you wonder what you actually practice
a lot of    sitting    email always email    watching
present    permeable
but you’re just not there right now
you are stuck
how long it will take

that moment    before something is about to happen
where anything is    still   possible
in between
this is where you are
stuck

you still savor that moment
prepare for it
be ready to receive
crave
that feeling when
first time    again    and again

your cells move
like a boat that replaces parts at every port
nothing   everything
is the same

but being there is not the same as being
present

that moment is in between
it is a place you know    have always known    how do you know
and so you stay there

don’t get distracted
because how could you be present
the song stuck in your head
the grocery list
the name(s) of your imaginary cat(s)
the petty little grievances
get out

what is this body    in this space

ingat    they say
she said    you take care
do not forget me    he said

breathe    in and out
feel     the ground
but jet lag    always the jet lag

ingat    the word that wakes you

do not look at your watch
not yet

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