Out-of-work actor Cate Blanchett was spotted crying in the wings of the Palace Theatre last night having allegedly snuck in via the stagedoor to watch a matinee performance of Billy Elliot. The theatre had to be evacuated mid-show after she cried three feet of tears whilst lamenting that she can only play rich, white Australian women these days.
Jack Whitehall looks set to raise more than a few eyebrows as he goes gay-for-pay in the first Disney pornographic live action feature.
James Bond actor Idris Elba has enraged MI6 with claims in a recent interview to GQ that he formerly worked for the secret intelligence service.
Performances of The Lion King have been postponed after the new ensemble, comprised for the first time of actual lions, meerkats, and warthogs, went on strike campaigning for the London Living Wage. Equity refused to pass comment, enraging PETA activists.
Tilda Swinton Keeps Calm and Carries On.
Michelle Williams (Destiny’s Child) has accidentally been cast in a role intended for Michelle Williams (Dawson’s Creek) — the embarrassing mistake didn’t come to light until the first day of filming and has delayed production by several weeks.
Eddie Redmayne has gouged out his own eyes on the steps of the National Theatre after having come under fire from disability activists protesting his plans to play Lear. His long-anticipated return to the stage looks set to break box office records.
Kevin Spacey makes dazzling Old Vic comeback starring in play about his own downfall.
James Corden has expressed his dismay at the backlash surrounding his intention to take the title role in a new stage biopic about South African leader Nelson Mandela. “How can you represent the rainbow nation if everyone in the cast is Black?” groaned Corden.
Lupita Nyong’o, Cynthia Erivo, and Gabourey Sidibe are rumoured to have signed up to take the female leads in a major reboot of classic ‘90s TV sitcom Friends.
Lorraine Kelly wins Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series.
Sir Ben Kingsley has been posthumously stripped of his Academy Award for his role in 1982 film Ghandi after revelations about his Gujarati Indian heritage forced the Academy to admit that his performance was considerably less impressive than they had been led to believe. The controversy has triggered an unprecedented review of all Oscar winners since the ceremony’s inauguration.
A single mother has won an Olivier Award after video goes viral of her uncanny performance of a woman on the edge during daily school run.
David Cameron and Theresa May have taken a verbatim documentary play about the decline of the United Kingdom to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival’s C Venues. The two-hander has been called “farcical” in a string of bad reviews although the casting has been praised.
Oprah Winfrey to play Oprah Winfrey in a new film about her life.
Equity have started legal proceedings against the Royal Shakespeare Company after it was revealed that their 2026/27 ensemble is comprised solely of non-professional performers.
Mel Gibson smashes Go Fund Me target to revive Walt Disney’s body for starring role in new Nazi biopic amidst cheers from Pro Life campaigners.
Felicity Huffmann has told Whoopi Goldberg on The View that she found her time in a male prison “actually pretty cushy” after being sentenced for conspiracy to commit mail fraud.
Scarlett Johansson’s head has been unveiled today, hanging pride of place in the newly refurbished Grand Trans Lobby.
Andy Warhol found alive and well in Palm Springs.
George Clooney is fine.